Dale Eugene Stewart's Blog

Click the pic! The neighborhood in Las Vegas where I grew up was tuf. You had to be a tuff kid to survive. This is a picture of my gang, the Mighty Masters of Mayhem and Marvelous Mustachioed Marauders. Better known as Emmminemmm. The boys’ dad owned a gambling den on Fremont Street called the Boulder Club. Every year during Heldorado Days there were three parades down Fremont Street. One year I got to paint a picture of Boulder Dam (Hoover Dam’s original name – it’s why Boulder City isn’t named Hoover City) on a big metal sign for the Boulder Club’s float. I got to keep the sign which I turned into a puppet theater. But I digress. Every kid needed a tufff dog. My dog’s name was Big Fido. There were no cats in our neighborhood because Big Fido terrified cats. Big Fido terrified everything. To see a picture of me and Big Fido, click here.

Click the pic! That's me with the sideburns in the back of the truck. I'm hosting a beer bust on the banks of the Brazos river for members of my dorm, Walton Hall, at Texas A&M.

While I was a graduate student there, the Dean of Students asked me to be the Head Resident of the 350 man dorm. I auditioned for the part by bouncing at their end of semester party. I was judged by how well I could intercept drunk cowboys clamoring onto a stage full of naked strippers.

It was a program dorm - a dorm that serves as a fraternity. The school was having trouble with guys getting a little out of hand being away from home for the first time. So, I was the resident tyrant. I did stop the water fights, but I wondered how it was that 200 guys with waste cans filled with water could be stopped by one guy.

During the big game against Texas, the guys moved out of the dorm and let their girlfriends use it as a hotel. I got to be locked in with the girls (woop, woop). The girls gave me a bouquet of roses. You're thinking some of the guys sneaked back in. Ha, not a chance.

We did yell practices, spirit banners, helped build the bonfire, rebuilt the lounge, emptied a lot of beer kegs, and won the intramural championships. Just like Gryffindor, we won best dorm 2 years in a row.

Click the pic! It's British Morgan Motor's newest threewheeler (one word) with a 115 horsepower v-twin engine hanging off the front.
It's $40,000; so, I'll have to save up a bit. And I live in Portland where it rains. That's right, it RAINS.

So, I'll have to have it reupholstered in Gortex. And I'll need a scuba face mask with a built in windshield wiper.

I've already got the jacket with a Royal Air Force roundel on the back to match the one on the side. I especially like making the passenger do the steering while I read a book or something. I'll be keeping Portland weird. Or maybe wired. Would you believe worried?

Click the pic! A different view in front of my friend's rental. We were there to collect the rent or fix the air conditioner or maybe rip up the linoleum. Hold on! Is that... Could that be... Elvis? Maybe it's just his hair. Anyway, he's definitely had too many bacon and banana sandwiches.

This picture shows Thor's front teeth - the spoiler under the front fender. I usually kept it off because people kept stealing it. I don't know why. The only time I found something added was when I found a pair of lady's panties on the windshield. I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find the lady.

Click the pic! I once took it apart and put it back together again. It's lowered. It has a 455 cu in engine that's huffed with a 671 blower. Its heads are O ringed. It has headers and a Super T10 transmission. It has a fiberglass hood and beefed up shocks, springs, and sway bars. There's a roll bar in the back and fat tires all around and it only gets 5 miles to the gallon of high octane leaded gas. It's very illegal.

A race car mechanic helped make modifications to it. He would grin and make obscene gestures whenever I brought it to his shop. He also taught auto shop at one of the high schools and would drive it there to let his students work on it too.

It makes a whining noise as it cruises the streets and it once leaped across an intersection that was being monitored by the cops. All four feet came off the ground and the red lights and sirens came on. Fortunately, I was a city official at the time and it had an exempt sticker on its bum. They made me promise never to do it again. I vigorously nodded my head up and down and crossed my heart.